Definition: Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love. - Wikipedia
For sometime now, I have had this notion that romance is bloated and unnecessary. But then again I was only reacting to what is being portrayed on social media and on print.
On social media you get to see people put up profile pictures with hearts and brightly colour text saying or claiming to love someone or to love themselves. Being the human that I am, I naturally cringe at the thought. I have seen folks who wish to be surprised by candle-in-the-bathroom kinda stuff and also honeymoon et al. It always came across to me as crap.
But what really is romance? Why is it so important to we humans? Is it really what the media claim it is? Or do people generally have a wrong idea of how romance is expressed?
On Tuesday, 23rd September 2014, I engaged an older woman in a conversation about romance. I told her I am beginning to think that the concept of romance is being blown out of proportion and that it is an unnecessary inconvenience considering that it makes one feel incompetent or jealous when one cannot replicate what one sees other folks doing on social media and being all emotional about it. She educated me that day.
"Romance is oil for the wheel of love", she said. I pondered on that for a few minutes and then asked her to please explain what she means by that.
That was when she took me to school.
When a man and woman who are emotionally attracted to each other come together in an institution of marriage, over time, the passion begins to wane as life begins to get more serious. The love/passion that initially existed between them begins to face some difficulty as communication is gradually broken down and two lovers begin to become like strangers.
"Love is like a living thing", she said. "It needs to be nurtured and cared for." When you love someone, you should be willing to accept them for who they are and to occasionally express your affection by actions which speak larger volumes.
She told me the tale of a couple for over 15 years who went to see a marriage counselor that they have become strangers and they don't love each other anymore. The counselor asked the man the last time he told his wife he loved her? The last time he commented on her appearance or generally showed any form of concern, care or emotion? Frankly, the man looked down and said the last time he did that was the week of their wedding.
Apparently, the woman had tried to salvage the marriage on several occasion but the man would rather be left alone to work and "provide for the family".
She ended by saying that if one would not be ready or willing to display affection, one should not venture into such an institution as marriage as it was designed to be a life time commitment to one's spouse emotionally and otherwise.
Any emotional association needs the continuous show of affection to be sustained. It is OK to want sometime for yourself occasionally (me times), but never starve your spouse of your attention. Pay attention to details. Notice when her hair changes, or when his cologne changes. Comment on each other's activity. Notice each other's state of mind and be willing to respond affectionately whenever the need arises. Be involved directly in each other's lives. That's the reason why you came together in the first place. That way we can gradually eradicate marital violence and marital infidelity. Never try to see your association as a "war zone".
"No one who loves you would intentionally want to inflict pain on you"
Let's make this world a better place for ourselves and for our children.
The end.
Thursday, 25 September 2014
Sunday, 20 July 2014
My thoughts on the demise of Africa's culture
To be clear, I regard culture as "the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a particular people or society".
I belong to a category of people who believe that wherever there is a rule there was a problem. In order to disregard rules and practices which one was trained with one has to be sure that the reasons behind the establishment of those rules are well understood. Most times, these rules are based on moral values and/or cultural norms of any society.
Today, in Africa, it is becoming increasingly apparent that there's a gradual shift in our cultural values. We are gradually disregarding some earlier held beliefs and practices and are tending towards a mixed blend of western and African cultures. This transformation can be seen from our dressing, our mode of governance, educational system, financial transactions, health care, accommodation choices, mode of transportation, religious practices etc.
We have witnessed the gradual demise of idol worship and are rather seeing a blend of islam/christianity and superstitions. We have seen the gradual rise of a lost generation caught midst this phenomenal transformation and having identity crisis/clashes.
There are relatively fewer people today who speak their native languages fluently in Africa than there was in 1980. Due to this we have seen a gradual disappearance of African proverbs and wisdom learned by the ancient Africans. Our forefathers(as we normally refer to them) may not have built skyscrapers, motor cars, ships and airplanes, however, they seem to have focused more on religious practices and in developing moral values based on their limited exposure.
A roaring lion kills no game. (meaning: You cannot achieve or gain anything by mere sitting around and just talking about it.)
Our forefathers were human beings and witnessed moral degradation in their societies which led them to develop certain rules and proverbs which we now look back on as African proverbs and superstitions. Let's take a look at some proverbs.
A popular igbo proverb is this: "Egbe bere ugo bere, nke si ibe ya ebena nku kwaa ya" which means(may both the eagle and the kite perch but if one does not want the other to perch, may his wings break. An english version is "The sky is wide enough for the eagle and the kite to fly in"). Looking closely at this proverb, you would see the advice towards encouraging coexistence. It is a well known fact that the igbo people tend to be very industrious and this can often lead to serious competition and various kinds of disputes. This proverb is usually recited each time there is a dispute of any kind and both parties usually have no choice than to calm down. I have witnessed 6 such occasions where this proverb was recited when resolving a business related conflict and I must say that it works like magic.
Another Igbo proverb with wisdom written over it is "Kama m ga erijuo afo dachie uzo ka m buru onu" (I will rather remain hungry than eat so much that I collapse on the roadside). This attempts to tackle the problem of biting more than you can chew and encouraging focus.
Yet another African proverb is: "The best way to eat an elephant in your path is to cut it into smaller pieces" which means that "The best approach to solving a problem is to take it bit by bit; one at a time"
There are thousands of such proverbs from the African culture which shows deep wisdom but why weren't we inclined towards technological advancements and conquests of kingdoms like the westerners?
My response would be: "Because it didn't matter".
From the African perspective, it didn't matter who was on the other side of the world. Although we had tribes in Africa that were always after each other's skin, it was usually a matter of preserving what they currently had, competing internally and not global domination. That is one of the reasons why we are termed "Local champions".
We always don't feel compelled to compete globally because we are comfortable the way we are and are regarded as "mediocre". Even our forefathers told tales about "the gods" to keep us all in line. That's why our parents and also some superstitious young persons still regard technology today as "devilish/demonic/witchcraft". What cannot be explained is tagged "witchcraft".
With the onset of globalization and forced international competition through colonialism, some Africans have been able to rise to the challenge and produced outstanding results (Aliko Dangote is an example in the business side of things) others still prefer to compete within their immediate environments than on a global scale.
A man who pays respect to the great paves the way for his own greatness (meaning:What goes around, comes around so whatever you sow, you shall reap)
Our problems in Africa may not necessarily be problems if you look from within. But it becomes a problem when you begin to compare our culture to the western culture. You begin to think that life is a lot easier for the westerners and we, like electricity and water, prefer to flow through the path of least resistance.
Hence, more and more Africans are hoping on the train of westernization. It used to be a "taboo" or a "witches strike" when someone dies of cancer in Africa. Now we are embracing it as a norm. Gradually, we would see "all" our cultural values become extinct and then would we begin to battle the "problems of the west".
"What the white man is running from, is what we are running towards."
These are just my thoughts and I leave them to you to think through before you belittle your cultural background or disregard one practice or the other.
If a child washes his hands he could eat with kings.(Meaning: If you prepare and allow yourself to be well trained when you have the opportunity, you will achieve a lot and be favored in due course.)
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
That part of me.....
So finally I decided to blog again.
I have been buried beneath a pile of work and journeys and despite the fact that these work trips have been really demanding of my time, relationships and safety, I have really enjoyed the experience.
Now my N.Y.S.C has come to completion and the world out there can't wait to lay hands on me.
Well good luck with that (if you can find patience!)
I blog tonight about me, myself and I.
I realized that I have indeed perfected the workaholic nature in me as though i'm gunning for the most unavailable man on the planet (beat that! :) ).
Someone confided in me recently (about myself of course) on how I would cope when a woman comes along.
Well, I'll tell you the truth in English. If and when a woman does come along, things are definitely going to change. Very few late nights on the computer only when necessary (oh Lord, less productivity*sobs* That's when the internet is at its peak!), more time with the she (sounds like it would be fun...or not?), more presence at home (no more "look ups" *sad*), reduced travelling (less fun). Oh well! it definitely wouldn't be that bad though, as i'm told. I think i'm just too worried about the unknown.
Right now, I have discarded all the cares I have in the world and to let God do His thing with me. Wherever/whenever you see me anywhere, don't hesitate to say hi. God bless!
I have been buried beneath a pile of work and journeys and despite the fact that these work trips have been really demanding of my time, relationships and safety, I have really enjoyed the experience.
Now my N.Y.S.C has come to completion and the world out there can't wait to lay hands on me.
Well good luck with that (if you can find patience!)
I blog tonight about me, myself and I.
I realized that I have indeed perfected the workaholic nature in me as though i'm gunning for the most unavailable man on the planet (beat that! :) ).
Someone confided in me recently (about myself of course) on how I would cope when a woman comes along.
Well, I'll tell you the truth in English. If and when a woman does come along, things are definitely going to change. Very few late nights on the computer only when necessary (oh Lord, less productivity*sobs* That's when the internet is at its peak!), more time with the she (sounds like it would be fun...or not?), more presence at home (no more "look ups" *sad*), reduced travelling (less fun). Oh well! it definitely wouldn't be that bad though, as i'm told. I think i'm just too worried about the unknown.
Right now, I have discarded all the cares I have in the world and to let God do His thing with me. Wherever/whenever you see me anywhere, don't hesitate to say hi. God bless!
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
Insecurity - Fear of the unknown
It's a common issue to see people make plans and have sleepless nights over problems they anticipate. It's OK to be worried about tomorrow, but to let the worry of tomorrow affect your today isn't a good idea.
Insecurity as used in this post is basically lacking self confidence; plagued by anxiety
The problem of insecurity cuts across various areas of our daily lives. From financial problems up to family issues down to career issues. We worry about whether we are gonna get good jobs, good spouses, beautiful children, a comfortable life style etc. When things don't seem to be going well we tend to get troubled and overly worried. Sometimes our worries push us to make hasty decisions and wrong choices. A calm attitude to certain problems sometimes is usually the best solution. Some situations usually don't require that you do anything. Just pray and watch. Other times, you may need to make a move. Now whatever move it is has to be calculated and prayed about. Advice usually as to be sought from appropriate persons.
Today in Nigeria, there's almost as high as 80% university graduates that worry about what happens as soon as you are done with NYSC. Some have so much confidence that if they shoot their CVs around the jobs would be waiting. Only to be met with not even one response from over 40 CVs that were dropped around.
How does one deal with this? Why is there so much uncertainty about what tomorrow holds? Are there ways in which these fears can be allayed? Has anyone successfully overcome these fears?
Truth be told, one may never get completely over these fears/worries, but rather one can reduce one's worry about them. I checked around and the only source of hope is God. Now, even God says " never to worry about tomorrow, but that we should let tomorrow worry for itself".
I know that sounds too easy but, well, it's just the truth.
I'm yet to see a situation where worry solved a problem. But rather pragmatic steps taken with care usually does. In the end, do not let your worst fears be your reality. Step out from underneath it and take charge of today. Today is all you have, enjoy it. Make the best of the friends and network that you have today. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Enjoy.
Insecurity as used in this post is basically lacking self confidence; plagued by anxiety
The problem of insecurity cuts across various areas of our daily lives. From financial problems up to family issues down to career issues. We worry about whether we are gonna get good jobs, good spouses, beautiful children, a comfortable life style etc. When things don't seem to be going well we tend to get troubled and overly worried. Sometimes our worries push us to make hasty decisions and wrong choices. A calm attitude to certain problems sometimes is usually the best solution. Some situations usually don't require that you do anything. Just pray and watch. Other times, you may need to make a move. Now whatever move it is has to be calculated and prayed about. Advice usually as to be sought from appropriate persons.
Today in Nigeria, there's almost as high as 80% university graduates that worry about what happens as soon as you are done with NYSC. Some have so much confidence that if they shoot their CVs around the jobs would be waiting. Only to be met with not even one response from over 40 CVs that were dropped around.
How does one deal with this? Why is there so much uncertainty about what tomorrow holds? Are there ways in which these fears can be allayed? Has anyone successfully overcome these fears?
Truth be told, one may never get completely over these fears/worries, but rather one can reduce one's worry about them. I checked around and the only source of hope is God. Now, even God says " never to worry about tomorrow, but that we should let tomorrow worry for itself".
I know that sounds too easy but, well, it's just the truth.
I'm yet to see a situation where worry solved a problem. But rather pragmatic steps taken with care usually does. In the end, do not let your worst fears be your reality. Step out from underneath it and take charge of today. Today is all you have, enjoy it. Make the best of the friends and network that you have today. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Enjoy.
Thursday, 22 August 2013
What's the point of life anyway?
You go through life working hard. You wake up each morning with bright hopes for a better day than the previous one. At the end of each day, you go to sleep hoping for a better tomorrow. And the circle repeats itself. Is there no end to this seemingly endless loop of fake life we live everyday? What is the point of it all?
You are born into life without a say as to what background you would grow up with. Suddenly, you are already crawling and making some human-like sounds (called baby's first words). You then begin to walk and as fast as time is, you are already in school. Nursery, Primary, Secondary and finally the University. Next is the real world. You begin to see that life isn't a bed of roses and that all the choices and decisions you made in the past are simple "bed laying efforts" for the kind of bed life would give you. If you make it well, you might be a little bit more comfortable than your peers.
After all the hustle and bustle of life, a man/woman is laid in a coffin and placed six feet under the ground, giving room for other persons to have their run at life.
I have tried reasoning along these lines and believe me, life would seem so hopeless and pointless. But there's something missing. Is there no hope for humanity? Are we just like trees and seasons? Blossom while young and wither away with age?
I realized after a while that, outside of religion, life is pointless. It's just a vicious circle.
Religion seems to be the only thing that gives humanity hope. All else is vanity. You have so much money, after sometime it makes no sense anymore. You are agile and young and can surmount any obstacle life hurls at you. Try it again 10 years down the line. It all doesn't make sense. You can be as agnostic or atheistic as much as you want. But there's only one thing that gives me hope."Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep his commandments. This is the WHOLE DUTY OF MAN". It's just that simple. That is the point of life. There's nothing outside of God. Absolutely nothing.
You are born into life without a say as to what background you would grow up with. Suddenly, you are already crawling and making some human-like sounds (called baby's first words). You then begin to walk and as fast as time is, you are already in school. Nursery, Primary, Secondary and finally the University. Next is the real world. You begin to see that life isn't a bed of roses and that all the choices and decisions you made in the past are simple "bed laying efforts" for the kind of bed life would give you. If you make it well, you might be a little bit more comfortable than your peers.
After all the hustle and bustle of life, a man/woman is laid in a coffin and placed six feet under the ground, giving room for other persons to have their run at life.
I have tried reasoning along these lines and believe me, life would seem so hopeless and pointless. But there's something missing. Is there no hope for humanity? Are we just like trees and seasons? Blossom while young and wither away with age?
I realized after a while that, outside of religion, life is pointless. It's just a vicious circle.
Religion seems to be the only thing that gives humanity hope. All else is vanity. You have so much money, after sometime it makes no sense anymore. You are agile and young and can surmount any obstacle life hurls at you. Try it again 10 years down the line. It all doesn't make sense. You can be as agnostic or atheistic as much as you want. But there's only one thing that gives me hope."Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep his commandments. This is the WHOLE DUTY OF MAN". It's just that simple. That is the point of life. There's nothing outside of God. Absolutely nothing.
Saturday, 17 August 2013
Are you too busy?
Have you ever been in situations where you are trying to understand a very important topic/task or responsibility and someone is disturbing? Either he/she is playing loud music or talking or just hitting on your attention somehow? Or when you are really pressed for time and trying to do useful work in available time and your phone rings? Or you get notified that you have an email? Or a Whatsapp message?
Well, you are not alone. I have this issue too and because I tend to withdraw from association and communication whenever I have work to do, people have passed comments. They have called me "Most Busy", "You work too much" and said "Are you the only one that has work to do?" etc.
There's also the problem of too much information (information pollution). The internet and social media make it difficult to concentrate. You keep reading blogs, status updates, tweets, news posts, youtube videos, emails etc but yet you feel inadequate. Like you are not up to date or not good enough..yet.
"The ability to concentrate is golden". Not many persons seem to understand and appreciate the value of being able to focus on a particular task and getting it done at the expected time. This is a virtue that seem to be the backbone of many successful people in various industries today. Due to my previous habit of always being available and always saying "YES", I was known as a "late comer" by some and one that doesn't keep to time. I started solving this problem recently by tracing my errors to the long list of "YES" I have said and communication loops I had gotten entangled in. I was worried that when I say "NO I can't do that for you now" I would disappoint someone (always putting myself in their shoes the wrong way). Not until I was reminded by a friend that "You can't be everything to everyone". I have be told this a lot but not until yesterday did i take it seriously. It's ok to help when you can, but when you cannot or it's not ok for you to do so, just say NO nicely. If you can defer the responsibility to someone else, fine. If not, a NO it is.
Don't put yourself in a tight corner. Take up responsibilities one by one. Finish up. Take another. Repeat this circle and you would be fine. That is what inspires success and makes you efficient. Do away with distractions when you have stuff to do. There's time for everything.
Enjoy.
Well, you are not alone. I have this issue too and because I tend to withdraw from association and communication whenever I have work to do, people have passed comments. They have called me "Most Busy", "You work too much" and said "Are you the only one that has work to do?" etc.
There's also the problem of too much information (information pollution). The internet and social media make it difficult to concentrate. You keep reading blogs, status updates, tweets, news posts, youtube videos, emails etc but yet you feel inadequate. Like you are not up to date or not good enough..yet.
"The ability to concentrate is golden". Not many persons seem to understand and appreciate the value of being able to focus on a particular task and getting it done at the expected time. This is a virtue that seem to be the backbone of many successful people in various industries today. Due to my previous habit of always being available and always saying "YES", I was known as a "late comer" by some and one that doesn't keep to time. I started solving this problem recently by tracing my errors to the long list of "YES" I have said and communication loops I had gotten entangled in. I was worried that when I say "NO I can't do that for you now" I would disappoint someone (always putting myself in their shoes the wrong way). Not until I was reminded by a friend that "You can't be everything to everyone". I have be told this a lot but not until yesterday did i take it seriously. It's ok to help when you can, but when you cannot or it's not ok for you to do so, just say NO nicely. If you can defer the responsibility to someone else, fine. If not, a NO it is.
Don't put yourself in a tight corner. Take up responsibilities one by one. Finish up. Take another. Repeat this circle and you would be fine. That is what inspires success and makes you efficient. Do away with distractions when you have stuff to do. There's time for everything.
Enjoy.
Wednesday, 14 August 2013
What's your worth?
Have you ever wondered what you mean to people? Or what people think about you? Do you think it matters? If you think it matters read on.
Our worth to people is determined by various factors and its value usually depends on the context. In the jobs market, the value system differs from those required from regular friends. Whilst employers would seek attributes like: good team spirit, useful skillset and hardwork ethics, our friends just want you to be dependable, available and fun to be with.
Whilst in the university, I had to answer this question: who am I to the different people in my life? To my classmates I was a school drop out who was busy programming, reading c#(pronounced see-sharp), not doing school work and not sleeping at night. To some of my friends I was a busy, unavailable fella whom when he is around is a clown. To the people I consulted for/worked with I was a geek. To the people in church I was a growing christian. Now that is just to name a few circles of people I found myself around. The opinions people had of me affected the way I interacted with them and placed me where I am today. Some persons saw and still see me as a "too busy" person and hence they just leave me alone. :) Some other persons see me as a "go-to-guy" for small scale projects and for IT consultations.
The importance of understanding what people think about you goes a long way in positioning you for what life would throw at you. Let me share a little story of how I got to where I am today.
My ICT career started in 2008. I was super thrilled by the CSC 102 course we did where I got to do my basic programming assignments myself and really saw the codes working. I continued along that path after that semester and went online to look for programmers to share my new knowledge. I met an indian programmer with whom I confided in about venturing into game programming and how I could use FORTRAN to achieve that. :) My friend laughed me to scorn. He then adviced me to look into C++ programming which he said was best suited for building games. I couldn't go home after that semester because I really wanted to build a game. I started frequenting the university library during that holiday to read up c++ and the computer resource center to use a code editor which I secretly downloaded and installed there to practice. When school resumed 3 weeks later I had already understood the concept of object oriented programming with c++. The computer resource center stopped working and since I didn't have a laptop or a computer I needed a way out. This was where having a good relationship with people came in.
I started spending time my friends who had laptops more often. I played video games with them and got to use their laptops whilst they slept. I couldn't keep up with lectures because I had to stay up all night most times to try out my programs, write programs on paper and read programming books during the day. I continued this way till my brother joined me in school through direct entry and eventually got a laptop. This became a booster for me and I was able to forge ahead more comfortably. I got my first paid project in 2011 and the money came in handy.There was no going back. I eventually got my first laptop in 2011.
In 2012, I was approached by a couple of friends for a job with the state government. I couldn't believe the pay. For 8 days a month (Thursday and Fridays every week) I was getting well paid and doing what I loved doing best. I was still a student. My friends thought I was good enough to be recommended for the job.
Today I've met persons I only saw on TV or newspapers. Shook hands with governors, been interviewed a few times on TV and the sky has been the starting point since then.
What made the difference? The opinion people had of who I am did. In the end, what might matter to you might be different from what made sense to me, you would always need people to get anywhere in life. Work on yourself and value your friends.
photo credit: flickr.com
Whilst in the university, I had to answer this question: who am I to the different people in my life? To my classmates I was a school drop out who was busy programming, reading c#(pronounced see-sharp), not doing school work and not sleeping at night. To some of my friends I was a busy, unavailable fella whom when he is around is a clown. To the people I consulted for/worked with I was a geek. To the people in church I was a growing christian. Now that is just to name a few circles of people I found myself around. The opinions people had of me affected the way I interacted with them and placed me where I am today. Some persons saw and still see me as a "too busy" person and hence they just leave me alone. :) Some other persons see me as a "go-to-guy" for small scale projects and for IT consultations.
The importance of understanding what people think about you goes a long way in positioning you for what life would throw at you. Let me share a little story of how I got to where I am today.
My ICT career started in 2008. I was super thrilled by the CSC 102 course we did where I got to do my basic programming assignments myself and really saw the codes working. I continued along that path after that semester and went online to look for programmers to share my new knowledge. I met an indian programmer with whom I confided in about venturing into game programming and how I could use FORTRAN to achieve that. :) My friend laughed me to scorn. He then adviced me to look into C++ programming which he said was best suited for building games. I couldn't go home after that semester because I really wanted to build a game. I started frequenting the university library during that holiday to read up c++ and the computer resource center to use a code editor which I secretly downloaded and installed there to practice. When school resumed 3 weeks later I had already understood the concept of object oriented programming with c++. The computer resource center stopped working and since I didn't have a laptop or a computer I needed a way out. This was where having a good relationship with people came in.
I started spending time my friends who had laptops more often. I played video games with them and got to use their laptops whilst they slept. I couldn't keep up with lectures because I had to stay up all night most times to try out my programs, write programs on paper and read programming books during the day. I continued this way till my brother joined me in school through direct entry and eventually got a laptop. This became a booster for me and I was able to forge ahead more comfortably. I got my first paid project in 2011 and the money came in handy.There was no going back. I eventually got my first laptop in 2011.
In 2012, I was approached by a couple of friends for a job with the state government. I couldn't believe the pay. For 8 days a month (Thursday and Fridays every week) I was getting well paid and doing what I loved doing best. I was still a student. My friends thought I was good enough to be recommended for the job.
Today I've met persons I only saw on TV or newspapers. Shook hands with governors, been interviewed a few times on TV and the sky has been the starting point since then.
What made the difference? The opinion people had of who I am did. In the end, what might matter to you might be different from what made sense to me, you would always need people to get anywhere in life. Work on yourself and value your friends.
photo credit: flickr.com
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
This Love thing sef
So much has been written and said about the concept of the word "LOVE". Entire volumes and whole series of audiovisual contents are available on this subject matter. But if it really is what they say it is, why is there so much dissatisfaction from what people call love today?
Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling.
Yet, love has an essence that resists defining in any single way — it encompasses compassion, determination, tolerance, endurance, support, faith, and much more.
I'll share some experiences in this post about what I thought love was and what I think it is now.
Let's first get a general definition for this hard word called Love.
According to Wikipedia, "love" can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from interpersonal affection ("I love my lover") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.
For the purpose of this post, love is used in the context of "an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment " to a particular individual.
Now that we have a general definition, let's proceed to my side of the story.
I had my first crush at a very young age. From what I can remember, each time I saw her, I always felt different. My heart always skipped a beat when she's nearby. This was in elementary school. As I grew up, I gradually became curious as to why I was attracted to her. I always wanted to talk to her, see her, help her out with stuff but I couldn't quite place where the attraction was coming from or what it was for. When she realized that I was showing a lot more attention to her than usual, she asked me one day, "Samuel, do u like me?". I nearly dropped dead on the spot. I looked to the floor and said "yes". That was the beginning of trouble for me. I could no longer stand her or any other girl. I became terribly shy. I started to gradually withdraw from associations that involved girls and hung out more with the guys. I played table tennis, video games etc just to stay away from them. Each time any girl called me by name I tend to cringe. And then I would respond absentmindedly just to get it over and done with.
I'll share some experiences in this post about what I thought love was and what I think it is now.
Let's first get a general definition for this hard word called Love.
According to Wikipedia, "love" can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from interpersonal affection ("I love my lover") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.
For the purpose of this post, love is used in the context of "an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment " to a particular individual.
Now that we have a general definition, let's proceed to my side of the story.
I had my first crush at a very young age. From what I can remember, each time I saw her, I always felt different. My heart always skipped a beat when she's nearby. This was in elementary school. As I grew up, I gradually became curious as to why I was attracted to her. I always wanted to talk to her, see her, help her out with stuff but I couldn't quite place where the attraction was coming from or what it was for. When she realized that I was showing a lot more attention to her than usual, she asked me one day, "Samuel, do u like me?". I nearly dropped dead on the spot. I looked to the floor and said "yes". That was the beginning of trouble for me. I could no longer stand her or any other girl. I became terribly shy. I started to gradually withdraw from associations that involved girls and hung out more with the guys. I played table tennis, video games etc just to stay away from them. Each time any girl called me by name I tend to cringe. And then I would respond absentmindedly just to get it over and done with.
I eventually got into high school and things weren't getting any better. This continued till I just about finished junior high. I wrote an essay and qualified for a 3 weeks camp in Abuja (Linking the Youths on Nigeria through eXchange LYNX 2004 ). Whilst there, I met Tamipiriye Emmanuel. That was the girl that showed me that girls don't bite (If you know her don't tell her this story o!). She was a very bright student and quite friendly too. Talking to her made it easy to talk to any other girl and gradually I loosened up. I met some other girls there in camp and knew practically ALL the guys. When I returned to Lagos 3 weeks after things had changed. I became a different person. That was when I realized that there were a lot of girls in the estate.
I suddenly picked up interest in another girl. She happened to be very shy. She always had a way of avoiding me but I was persistent.
I was trying so hard to understand what I liked about her but I couldn't figure it out. I never did till we left the estate. It was 4 years later I heard from her again.
Every single day that passed I wondered what caused the attraction. I had some other flings which I'll blog about some other day but in all I came to appreciate some very vital points:
1. Love is beyond physical/sexual attraction. That is called "lust"
2. Love is not domination or control.
3. Love doesn't solve the loneliness problem. You gotta fix that yourself
4. Love isn't selfish. It's not just about you anymore
5. Love isn't blind. Whilst you love people with their faults, it takes love to overlook the faults when they manifest.
6. Love isn't a tool for using people or binding them to your side; if you find yourself calling these actions "love," it may be a good idea to investigate what other people mean by love.
7. Love is unconditional. Now that is the most difficult to explain. You normally should love people without conditions attached. But being the mortals that we are, we love based on conditions. I love "my child". The child is yours that's why you love him/her.
Today, so many people get it wrong and as such they have their hearts shattered into many pieces and they always still love with the pieces. Our streets are filled with guys and girls with a catalog of experiences from failed relationships. They expected too much and got too little. Hollywood/NollyWood and romance stories didn't help. They made it worse. They made us feel inadequate. Almost every teenager and young adult fantasizes today about what it would be like to love and be loved in return. I cannot categorically state that I have had the best of experiences but I know for sure that to love and be loved in return is an amazing feeling. But you have to be careful. Always be with your thinking cap no matter what your emotions say. Ask yourself where your relationship is headed and what the goal is. If you don't know, my friend, please don't invest in it. When someone loves you they would be patient with you on the sex issue till the wedding bells. They wouldn't hit you. They'll respect your opinion. They'll absorb you into their family and circle of friends.
Warnings
1. Love isn't easy
2. Never seek to force love. You can try but you'll find fear, neediness and insecurity, not love. Love will come if you're willing to share love, to give of it freely and to expect nothing in return.
3. Be aware that creatively written or filmed romantic love is a thing of art in its own––mere mortals are recommended to see that romantic love has warts. The more expansively you view romantic love, the more accepting you are that romantic love isn't always ideal and the more certain you are about who you are and what matters to you in life, the more likely you'll be to find happiness in romance. Leave those rose colored glasses slightly lifted at all times!
It wasn't until this year that I gave it some serious thought after some sermons on it and realized that to confidently say you love someone is to accept the responsibility that comes with it. If you cannot deal with the responsibility of loving someone, feel free to hitch a ride back to where you were coming from.
Have a great day ahead!
Warnings
1. Love isn't easy
2. Never seek to force love. You can try but you'll find fear, neediness and insecurity, not love. Love will come if you're willing to share love, to give of it freely and to expect nothing in return.
3. Be aware that creatively written or filmed romantic love is a thing of art in its own––mere mortals are recommended to see that romantic love has warts. The more expansively you view romantic love, the more accepting you are that romantic love isn't always ideal and the more certain you are about who you are and what matters to you in life, the more likely you'll be to find happiness in romance. Leave those rose colored glasses slightly lifted at all times!
It wasn't until this year that I gave it some serious thought after some sermons on it and realized that to confidently say you love someone is to accept the responsibility that comes with it. If you cannot deal with the responsibility of loving someone, feel free to hitch a ride back to where you were coming from.
Have a great day ahead!
Some of the glitters were gold
"All that glitters is not gold", says the popular quote.
As true as this sounds, let's look at it from a different perspective.Some of the glitters are indeed gold.
Certainly, things would go wrong and then we are forced to have regrets. People would disappoint us when we least expected. I have seen the shock and disbelief on the faces of certain persons when someone they trust so much fails them or let them down in some way and I have also let people down before.
But in the midst of our regrets, we tend to forget all the good things that had happened prior to the wrong. We begin to see all the faults and the long list of errors. Things we overlooked, things we didn't think mattered. Suddenly,they all begin to matter. Your world begins to look like it is crumbling around you. Just because of one little wrong that someone did you.
It is not a special fault of yours to have regrets, but rather, it is purely human. When we are hurt by people we trust or people we are really close to, we feel
so terrible. Some have cried. Some have taken their own lives. Such shouldn't be our lot. We are not perfect. We make mistakes.
I had such an encounter recently and I almost cried. It was unbelievable. But then I looked on the bright side. It's not an easy feat but I did it. I began recounting all the good times. All the positive moments. I realized after some time that I was "laughing out loud. The pain had been lifted. It was over. "It was just a mistake", I told myself. Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. "Humans cannot be trusted!!", some have exclaimed. "All men are dogs!", the woman said in disgust. "All women are the same. You should never trust them", I recall being told a few times.
But I really don't believe in such statements. I know better now than to make broad assumptions because of that brief moment of disappointment. Look on the bright side. Life is too short to stay sad. "Focus on the glitters that were gold". Treasure the good times. Forgive and try to forget. Never, ever remind people of how they faulted you the same way before. Don't do it! If you can remember, they can too! Just smile and say "It's ok" when you can. I understand that they are exceptions when persons would wrong you without remorse. Don't spend 2 seconds of your life regretting. We don't have enough time. "Find a smile in the tears." Have a fun filled day ahead.
As true as this sounds, let's look at it from a different perspective.Some of the glitters are indeed gold.
Certainly, things would go wrong and then we are forced to have regrets. People would disappoint us when we least expected. I have seen the shock and disbelief on the faces of certain persons when someone they trust so much fails them or let them down in some way and I have also let people down before.
But in the midst of our regrets, we tend to forget all the good things that had happened prior to the wrong. We begin to see all the faults and the long list of errors. Things we overlooked, things we didn't think mattered. Suddenly,they all begin to matter. Your world begins to look like it is crumbling around you. Just because of one little wrong that someone did you.
It is not a special fault of yours to have regrets, but rather, it is purely human. When we are hurt by people we trust or people we are really close to, we feel
so terrible. Some have cried. Some have taken their own lives. Such shouldn't be our lot. We are not perfect. We make mistakes.
I had such an encounter recently and I almost cried. It was unbelievable. But then I looked on the bright side. It's not an easy feat but I did it. I began recounting all the good times. All the positive moments. I realized after some time that I was "laughing out loud. The pain had been lifted. It was over. "It was just a mistake", I told myself. Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. "Humans cannot be trusted!!", some have exclaimed. "All men are dogs!", the woman said in disgust. "All women are the same. You should never trust them", I recall being told a few times.
But I really don't believe in such statements. I know better now than to make broad assumptions because of that brief moment of disappointment. Look on the bright side. Life is too short to stay sad. "Focus on the glitters that were gold". Treasure the good times. Forgive and try to forget. Never, ever remind people of how they faulted you the same way before. Don't do it! If you can remember, they can too! Just smile and say "It's ok" when you can. I understand that they are exceptions when persons would wrong you without remorse. Don't spend 2 seconds of your life regretting. We don't have enough time. "Find a smile in the tears." Have a fun filled day ahead.
Sunday, 11 August 2013
I think i'm lost
Hi. It's been a while I wrote something about me here. These are a few lessons I have learnt in a few months and I'm willing to share them here.
Recently, I've been noticing a steep decline in my communication with people. I used to be an extrovert. Always happy, cheerful, available to talk to anyone at anytime and always willing to lend a helping hand. Something changed. I started becoming more introspective and I seem to be doing lots of thinking these days. What happened?
Lately, I have been doing some serious reading and talking to older persons on how life has been treating them, what lessons they have learnt and I have also witnessed crisis around me of various dimensions and in different context. I started realizing that as far as life is concerned, you usually don't get what you want all the time.
I was counselled that whilst it is good to dream big and work extra hard, one has to be very careful about certain things:
1. Which goes first? Family or work?
With Internet almost always available, I started to realize I spent more time online chatting and fixing other people's problems whilst staying in touch with my family a lot less.
"Family should always come first", she said(The "she" is a tale for another day). Each time she said that, I just pick up my phone and call my mum to check on her and everyone else at home. They usually appreciate the call and it kinda freshens up the bond. I saw them very few times in a year and decided that that had to change. And so i devised a plan to visit them as often as I can and to call more frequently. I learnt that "a call is worth a thousand chat messages".
2. God are we still friends?
There seemed to be no much time left out of my busy schedule to say a few words to God in prayers as the day rushed on. I was always reading different books on my phone, visiting blogs to keep up with latest technologies, trying to be at the top of my game and to be ready when a well paying job comes along after youth service.
Then one day it dawned on me. "Why am I doing all this hustling?" "For whom? who am I trying to impress?" "Is this all my life is about? work! work! work!" "When was the last time I took a break to say a prayer to God during a busy day, aside my morning and night prayers?"
I had to hit the reset button and asked a brother to pray for me. I started to look inward and develop the man in me. I started drawing closer to God and it all became easier. My life's pace slowed down considerably and it all started making sense. We all have aspirations and ambitions, but let us learn to put God first. Let Him know your plans. Talk to Him like a friend and Father that He is. You would see the difference. At least I did .
3. Only the lazy sleep at night
That was my motto. I was a workaholic. Partly due to my experiences whilst growing up, and partly due to the extra money it was getting me, I loved work. People see me online at 3 .am and wonder if I'm having insomnia. They try to chat and I respond immediately. The first question is always "Guy, u no dey sleep ni?"
Somehow, I had developed an habit of keeping late nights and working through the night. I had a day job but I always felt compelled to do something new at night. I started falling ill every month. My immune system became weak to stress induced malaria. I was always tired and cold. But i had to work. Experience has shown me that it's not about the number of hours you put in, but it is the quality of those hours. 3 hours of consistent work is better than 12 hours of inconsistent work. I had to change that.
4. Food is for farmers
Eating junk was a habit. I rarely had time to cook good food. It wasn't the case that I didn't know how to cook, but I always felt that it was a time wasting endeavor 1 hour+ in the kitchen? you have no idea how far I would have gone in that project. But in the end, health is wealth. Good food is required to stay healthy and good health is required to remain productive.
I haven't forgotten my friends. I just need some time to straighten my life's course. I have started making amends.
In a nutshell, there's a new Sam in the block. Have you met him yet? I don't think so. If he's not at work or taking those long solitary walks, he is reading a book or he's cooking.
Recently, I've been noticing a steep decline in my communication with people. I used to be an extrovert. Always happy, cheerful, available to talk to anyone at anytime and always willing to lend a helping hand. Something changed. I started becoming more introspective and I seem to be doing lots of thinking these days. What happened?
Lately, I have been doing some serious reading and talking to older persons on how life has been treating them, what lessons they have learnt and I have also witnessed crisis around me of various dimensions and in different context. I started realizing that as far as life is concerned, you usually don't get what you want all the time.
I was counselled that whilst it is good to dream big and work extra hard, one has to be very careful about certain things:
1. Which goes first? Family or work?
With Internet almost always available, I started to realize I spent more time online chatting and fixing other people's problems whilst staying in touch with my family a lot less.
"Family should always come first", she said(The "she" is a tale for another day). Each time she said that, I just pick up my phone and call my mum to check on her and everyone else at home. They usually appreciate the call and it kinda freshens up the bond. I saw them very few times in a year and decided that that had to change. And so i devised a plan to visit them as often as I can and to call more frequently. I learnt that "a call is worth a thousand chat messages".
2. God are we still friends?
There seemed to be no much time left out of my busy schedule to say a few words to God in prayers as the day rushed on. I was always reading different books on my phone, visiting blogs to keep up with latest technologies, trying to be at the top of my game and to be ready when a well paying job comes along after youth service.
Then one day it dawned on me. "Why am I doing all this hustling?" "For whom? who am I trying to impress?" "Is this all my life is about? work! work! work!" "When was the last time I took a break to say a prayer to God during a busy day, aside my morning and night prayers?"
I had to hit the reset button and asked a brother to pray for me. I started to look inward and develop the man in me. I started drawing closer to God and it all became easier. My life's pace slowed down considerably and it all started making sense. We all have aspirations and ambitions, but let us learn to put God first. Let Him know your plans. Talk to Him like a friend and Father that He is. You would see the difference. At least I did .
3. Only the lazy sleep at night
That was my motto. I was a workaholic. Partly due to my experiences whilst growing up, and partly due to the extra money it was getting me, I loved work. People see me online at 3 .am and wonder if I'm having insomnia. They try to chat and I respond immediately. The first question is always "Guy, u no dey sleep ni?"
Somehow, I had developed an habit of keeping late nights and working through the night. I had a day job but I always felt compelled to do something new at night. I started falling ill every month. My immune system became weak to stress induced malaria. I was always tired and cold. But i had to work. Experience has shown me that it's not about the number of hours you put in, but it is the quality of those hours. 3 hours of consistent work is better than 12 hours of inconsistent work. I had to change that.
4. Food is for farmers
Eating junk was a habit. I rarely had time to cook good food. It wasn't the case that I didn't know how to cook, but I always felt that it was a time wasting endeavor 1 hour+ in the kitchen? you have no idea how far I would have gone in that project. But in the end, health is wealth. Good food is required to stay healthy and good health is required to remain productive.
I haven't forgotten my friends. I just need some time to straighten my life's course. I have started making amends.
In a nutshell, there's a new Sam in the block. Have you met him yet? I don't think so. If he's not at work or taking those long solitary walks, he is reading a book or he's cooking.
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
How to respect your women
It is true that it's natural for a man to require a woman's companionship. But again, when the bounds of such companionship are not well set then doom is at hand. I recently witnessed the harassment of some young girls who met with guys they were friends with on the internet. It was a terrible situation. Although i got to see the ladies afterwards, it brings to mind how much moral decadence has befallen Nigerians. What can this be attributed to?
Our young men no longer have the guts to patiently woo a woman and our women no longer know what love really is. Social media has not been helpful in portraying what life ought to be. From my standpoint, we are facing a failed generation. One that has failed even before it started. our parents who were unable to keep up with the fast changing technological society had to spend more time away else technology takes away their jobs. This misplaced priority or rather this inability on their part to adapt to and devise means to ensure that the welfare and moral upbringing of their kids are not overthrown by the need to survive.
Guys feel that the only way to get at a girl to who they are immensely attracted to is through drugging them or forcing them into sex. My advice to the Nigerian youth is this: Fear God and keep His commandment.
It is the only known solution from time immemorial till date. This cannot continue. Women are not sex tools They are humans like us. We ought to treat them with respect because they play a very important role in our lives and in the lives of those coming after us. Ofttimes i have had cause to call my mum just to say thanks for everything. It breaks my heart to see the girls who are supposed to be great women tomorrow have their dreams dashed by one guy with an uncontrollable sexual desire or a shameful low self esteem. Ladies, try to dress more appropriately. Guys have an issue with what they see. Don't let the sexual desire of a lustful guy ruin a bright future u probably have. Enjoy!!
Our young men no longer have the guts to patiently woo a woman and our women no longer know what love really is. Social media has not been helpful in portraying what life ought to be. From my standpoint, we are facing a failed generation. One that has failed even before it started. our parents who were unable to keep up with the fast changing technological society had to spend more time away else technology takes away their jobs. This misplaced priority or rather this inability on their part to adapt to and devise means to ensure that the welfare and moral upbringing of their kids are not overthrown by the need to survive.
Guys feel that the only way to get at a girl to who they are immensely attracted to is through drugging them or forcing them into sex. My advice to the Nigerian youth is this: Fear God and keep His commandment.
It is the only known solution from time immemorial till date. This cannot continue. Women are not sex tools They are humans like us. We ought to treat them with respect because they play a very important role in our lives and in the lives of those coming after us. Ofttimes i have had cause to call my mum just to say thanks for everything. It breaks my heart to see the girls who are supposed to be great women tomorrow have their dreams dashed by one guy with an uncontrollable sexual desire or a shameful low self esteem. Ladies, try to dress more appropriately. Guys have an issue with what they see. Don't let the sexual desire of a lustful guy ruin a bright future u probably have. Enjoy!!
A recent challenge with web hosting on utiware.net
Recently, I have had reasons to lament and wail over the difficulty in deploying a Microsoft based web application. I had a contract for a web application which i eventually completed and uploaded to a windows hosting account. On viewing the site in a browser, "OOps! Http 500 Internal Server Error".
Yeah. that's right. An internal server error. I made sure i retried the application with the live sever connection strings so as to be sure the issue wasn't from there. Uh-oh. The site works well on my IIS. I sent a support ticked and it took approximately 24hrs to get a response. I was asked to change my connection string to some other one i was given. "BOOM!" same issue. I contacted them again and ever since they have refused to reply. I had to delete the site from their domain and re-uploaded. The issue persisted. "Internal server error". Whatever the case maybe, Utiware, truth is you guys have got a terrible customer care service and i'm grossly disappointed in your lack of technical ability. Having explained the likely cause of the issue to them, they have chosen not to respond. In my next life, remind me not to choose Utiware and to migrate my website from their servers.
Yeah. that's right. An internal server error. I made sure i retried the application with the live sever connection strings so as to be sure the issue wasn't from there. Uh-oh. The site works well on my IIS. I sent a support ticked and it took approximately 24hrs to get a response. I was asked to change my connection string to some other one i was given. "BOOM!" same issue. I contacted them again and ever since they have refused to reply. I had to delete the site from their domain and re-uploaded. The issue persisted. "Internal server error". Whatever the case maybe, Utiware, truth is you guys have got a terrible customer care service and i'm grossly disappointed in your lack of technical ability. Having explained the likely cause of the issue to them, they have chosen not to respond. In my next life, remind me not to choose Utiware and to migrate my website from their servers.
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Start Up Weekend Lagos..overview
Wow! Good to be back in the blogging community again. Today, i want to share some very important lessons i learnt during the last start up weekend Lagos programming contest.
The competition started 9th of September and ended 11th September. Now first and foremost meet my team mates and the roles they played:
1)Abiodun Thorpe--Optimization and Team lead
2)Deji Techserv--web UI
3)Lawal Ibrahim--Php -MySql,Backend
4)Aguda Olabode--web UI
5)Ijaware Tomiwa--mobile css
6)Samuel Okoroafor--mobile Web (me)
7)Kazeem---GPS tracker guy
Now the competition started on a good note with me and my team mates quickly reaching an understanding of what we wanted to achieve and our aim at that event which was to win.
We drafted responsibilities and everyone acknowledged their roles and we went to our various homes(though Thorpe and Ibrahim slept over at Ibrahim's house) to resume our duties.
The following morning, 10th September,we assembled at the venue and merged our individual efforts and continued with the project's core areas. I provided the mobile web forms, Tomiwa styled them, Bode and Deji kept working on the web UI while Ibrahim did a lot of work on the backend (php and MySql). Kazeem continued work on the GPS data and Thorpe on the presentation,optimization and team coordination.
We worked our way into the night coding all through till we dispersed from the venue. I went with Ibrahim, Deji and Thorpe to Ibrahim's place to spend the night. I was up working on various issues through the night and some chatting. Ibrahim later commenced work on the backend while i provided all the info from our mobile client. We worked till dawn and continued even when we got to the venue. Soon our model and solution were complete. We were the only ones who finished their project over the weekend and we all got ready for the final presentation.
Thorpe delivered the presentation for us. The criteria used for the classification of winners became obvious to us after the event. They were looking for power packed presentations and not necessarily complete projects and though we did a good job on the project to get a workable product,we were a bit at fault in our presentation and we paid dearly for it.
The results were announced starting with the first. As soon as we realised that we weren't first it became obvious to us that we had lost.
Though we were reassured that the prizes were just to motivate enterpreneurship in us all,we felt disappointed in ourselves seeing we had the best collection of programmers at the event and couldn' t claim the 1000 Euros prize.
Lessons learnt
------------------
1)A product is as good as it's presentation irrespective of the contents
2)Never underestimate your opposition even if you're in the best position to win
3)Always stick together as a team irrespective of the outcomes of why you all came together
4)Competition results don't necessarily determine the best of the best..The results are barely relative to what the judges think which is quite narrow
As the event came and went i realized that it was going to be the last event i was going to lose at! It was fun all the way and i met quite a lot of interesting and funny peeps..Thanks for reading. Watch out for the update for the upcoming Tech-In series competition. enjoy!
The competition started 9th of September and ended 11th September. Now first and foremost meet my team mates and the roles they played:
1)Abiodun Thorpe--Optimization and Team lead
2)Deji Techserv--web UI
3)Lawal Ibrahim--Php -MySql,Backend
4)Aguda Olabode--web UI
5)Ijaware Tomiwa--mobile css
6)Samuel Okoroafor--mobile Web (me)
7)Kazeem---GPS tracker guy
Now the competition started on a good note with me and my team mates quickly reaching an understanding of what we wanted to achieve and our aim at that event which was to win.
We drafted responsibilities and everyone acknowledged their roles and we went to our various homes(though Thorpe and Ibrahim slept over at Ibrahim's house) to resume our duties.
The following morning, 10th September,we assembled at the venue and merged our individual efforts and continued with the project's core areas. I provided the mobile web forms, Tomiwa styled them, Bode and Deji kept working on the web UI while Ibrahim did a lot of work on the backend (php and MySql). Kazeem continued work on the GPS data and Thorpe on the presentation,optimization and team coordination.
We worked our way into the night coding all through till we dispersed from the venue. I went with Ibrahim, Deji and Thorpe to Ibrahim's place to spend the night. I was up working on various issues through the night and some chatting. Ibrahim later commenced work on the backend while i provided all the info from our mobile client. We worked till dawn and continued even when we got to the venue. Soon our model and solution were complete. We were the only ones who finished their project over the weekend and we all got ready for the final presentation.
Thorpe delivered the presentation for us. The criteria used for the classification of winners became obvious to us after the event. They were looking for power packed presentations and not necessarily complete projects and though we did a good job on the project to get a workable product,we were a bit at fault in our presentation and we paid dearly for it.
The results were announced starting with the first. As soon as we realised that we weren't first it became obvious to us that we had lost.
Though we were reassured that the prizes were just to motivate enterpreneurship in us all,we felt disappointed in ourselves seeing we had the best collection of programmers at the event and couldn' t claim the 1000 Euros prize.
Lessons learnt
------------------
1)A product is as good as it's presentation irrespective of the contents
2)Never underestimate your opposition even if you're in the best position to win
3)Always stick together as a team irrespective of the outcomes of why you all came together
4)Competition results don't necessarily determine the best of the best..The results are barely relative to what the judges think which is quite narrow
As the event came and went i realized that it was going to be the last event i was going to lose at! It was fun all the way and i met quite a lot of interesting and funny peeps..Thanks for reading. Watch out for the update for the upcoming Tech-In series competition. enjoy!
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