It's a common issue to see people make plans and have sleepless nights over problems they anticipate. It's OK to be worried about tomorrow, but to let the worry of tomorrow affect your today isn't a good idea.
Insecurity as used in this post is basically lacking self confidence; plagued by anxiety
The problem of insecurity cuts across various areas of our daily lives. From financial problems up to family issues down to career issues. We worry about whether we are gonna get good jobs, good spouses, beautiful children, a comfortable life style etc. When things don't seem to be going well we tend to get troubled and overly worried. Sometimes our worries push us to make hasty decisions and wrong choices. A calm attitude to certain problems sometimes is usually the best solution. Some situations usually don't require that you do anything. Just pray and watch. Other times, you may need to make a move. Now whatever move it is has to be calculated and prayed about. Advice usually as to be sought from appropriate persons.
Today in Nigeria, there's almost as high as 80% university graduates that worry about what happens as soon as you are done with NYSC. Some have so much confidence that if they shoot their CVs around the jobs would be waiting. Only to be met with not even one response from over 40 CVs that were dropped around.
How does one deal with this? Why is there so much uncertainty about what tomorrow holds? Are there ways in which these fears can be allayed? Has anyone successfully overcome these fears?
Truth be told, one may never get completely over these fears/worries, but rather one can reduce one's worry about them. I checked around and the only source of hope is God. Now, even God says " never to worry about tomorrow, but that we should let tomorrow worry for itself".
I know that sounds too easy but, well, it's just the truth.
I'm yet to see a situation where worry solved a problem. But rather pragmatic steps taken with care usually does. In the end, do not let your worst fears be your reality. Step out from underneath it and take charge of today. Today is all you have, enjoy it. Make the best of the friends and network that you have today. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Enjoy.
Tuesday 27 August 2013
Thursday 22 August 2013
What's the point of life anyway?
You go through life working hard. You wake up each morning with bright hopes for a better day than the previous one. At the end of each day, you go to sleep hoping for a better tomorrow. And the circle repeats itself. Is there no end to this seemingly endless loop of fake life we live everyday? What is the point of it all?
You are born into life without a say as to what background you would grow up with. Suddenly, you are already crawling and making some human-like sounds (called baby's first words). You then begin to walk and as fast as time is, you are already in school. Nursery, Primary, Secondary and finally the University. Next is the real world. You begin to see that life isn't a bed of roses and that all the choices and decisions you made in the past are simple "bed laying efforts" for the kind of bed life would give you. If you make it well, you might be a little bit more comfortable than your peers.
After all the hustle and bustle of life, a man/woman is laid in a coffin and placed six feet under the ground, giving room for other persons to have their run at life.
I have tried reasoning along these lines and believe me, life would seem so hopeless and pointless. But there's something missing. Is there no hope for humanity? Are we just like trees and seasons? Blossom while young and wither away with age?
I realized after a while that, outside of religion, life is pointless. It's just a vicious circle.
Religion seems to be the only thing that gives humanity hope. All else is vanity. You have so much money, after sometime it makes no sense anymore. You are agile and young and can surmount any obstacle life hurls at you. Try it again 10 years down the line. It all doesn't make sense. You can be as agnostic or atheistic as much as you want. But there's only one thing that gives me hope."Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep his commandments. This is the WHOLE DUTY OF MAN". It's just that simple. That is the point of life. There's nothing outside of God. Absolutely nothing.
You are born into life without a say as to what background you would grow up with. Suddenly, you are already crawling and making some human-like sounds (called baby's first words). You then begin to walk and as fast as time is, you are already in school. Nursery, Primary, Secondary and finally the University. Next is the real world. You begin to see that life isn't a bed of roses and that all the choices and decisions you made in the past are simple "bed laying efforts" for the kind of bed life would give you. If you make it well, you might be a little bit more comfortable than your peers.
After all the hustle and bustle of life, a man/woman is laid in a coffin and placed six feet under the ground, giving room for other persons to have their run at life.
I have tried reasoning along these lines and believe me, life would seem so hopeless and pointless. But there's something missing. Is there no hope for humanity? Are we just like trees and seasons? Blossom while young and wither away with age?
I realized after a while that, outside of religion, life is pointless. It's just a vicious circle.
Religion seems to be the only thing that gives humanity hope. All else is vanity. You have so much money, after sometime it makes no sense anymore. You are agile and young and can surmount any obstacle life hurls at you. Try it again 10 years down the line. It all doesn't make sense. You can be as agnostic or atheistic as much as you want. But there's only one thing that gives me hope."Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep his commandments. This is the WHOLE DUTY OF MAN". It's just that simple. That is the point of life. There's nothing outside of God. Absolutely nothing.
Saturday 17 August 2013
Are you too busy?
Have you ever been in situations where you are trying to understand a very important topic/task or responsibility and someone is disturbing? Either he/she is playing loud music or talking or just hitting on your attention somehow? Or when you are really pressed for time and trying to do useful work in available time and your phone rings? Or you get notified that you have an email? Or a Whatsapp message?
Well, you are not alone. I have this issue too and because I tend to withdraw from association and communication whenever I have work to do, people have passed comments. They have called me "Most Busy", "You work too much" and said "Are you the only one that has work to do?" etc.
There's also the problem of too much information (information pollution). The internet and social media make it difficult to concentrate. You keep reading blogs, status updates, tweets, news posts, youtube videos, emails etc but yet you feel inadequate. Like you are not up to date or not good enough..yet.
"The ability to concentrate is golden". Not many persons seem to understand and appreciate the value of being able to focus on a particular task and getting it done at the expected time. This is a virtue that seem to be the backbone of many successful people in various industries today. Due to my previous habit of always being available and always saying "YES", I was known as a "late comer" by some and one that doesn't keep to time. I started solving this problem recently by tracing my errors to the long list of "YES" I have said and communication loops I had gotten entangled in. I was worried that when I say "NO I can't do that for you now" I would disappoint someone (always putting myself in their shoes the wrong way). Not until I was reminded by a friend that "You can't be everything to everyone". I have be told this a lot but not until yesterday did i take it seriously. It's ok to help when you can, but when you cannot or it's not ok for you to do so, just say NO nicely. If you can defer the responsibility to someone else, fine. If not, a NO it is.
Don't put yourself in a tight corner. Take up responsibilities one by one. Finish up. Take another. Repeat this circle and you would be fine. That is what inspires success and makes you efficient. Do away with distractions when you have stuff to do. There's time for everything.
Enjoy.
Well, you are not alone. I have this issue too and because I tend to withdraw from association and communication whenever I have work to do, people have passed comments. They have called me "Most Busy", "You work too much" and said "Are you the only one that has work to do?" etc.
There's also the problem of too much information (information pollution). The internet and social media make it difficult to concentrate. You keep reading blogs, status updates, tweets, news posts, youtube videos, emails etc but yet you feel inadequate. Like you are not up to date or not good enough..yet.
"The ability to concentrate is golden". Not many persons seem to understand and appreciate the value of being able to focus on a particular task and getting it done at the expected time. This is a virtue that seem to be the backbone of many successful people in various industries today. Due to my previous habit of always being available and always saying "YES", I was known as a "late comer" by some and one that doesn't keep to time. I started solving this problem recently by tracing my errors to the long list of "YES" I have said and communication loops I had gotten entangled in. I was worried that when I say "NO I can't do that for you now" I would disappoint someone (always putting myself in their shoes the wrong way). Not until I was reminded by a friend that "You can't be everything to everyone". I have be told this a lot but not until yesterday did i take it seriously. It's ok to help when you can, but when you cannot or it's not ok for you to do so, just say NO nicely. If you can defer the responsibility to someone else, fine. If not, a NO it is.
Don't put yourself in a tight corner. Take up responsibilities one by one. Finish up. Take another. Repeat this circle and you would be fine. That is what inspires success and makes you efficient. Do away with distractions when you have stuff to do. There's time for everything.
Enjoy.
Wednesday 14 August 2013
What's your worth?
Have you ever wondered what you mean to people? Or what people think about you? Do you think it matters? If you think it matters read on.
Our worth to people is determined by various factors and its value usually depends on the context. In the jobs market, the value system differs from those required from regular friends. Whilst employers would seek attributes like: good team spirit, useful skillset and hardwork ethics, our friends just want you to be dependable, available and fun to be with.
Whilst in the university, I had to answer this question: who am I to the different people in my life? To my classmates I was a school drop out who was busy programming, reading c#(pronounced see-sharp), not doing school work and not sleeping at night. To some of my friends I was a busy, unavailable fella whom when he is around is a clown. To the people I consulted for/worked with I was a geek. To the people in church I was a growing christian. Now that is just to name a few circles of people I found myself around. The opinions people had of me affected the way I interacted with them and placed me where I am today. Some persons saw and still see me as a "too busy" person and hence they just leave me alone. :) Some other persons see me as a "go-to-guy" for small scale projects and for IT consultations.
The importance of understanding what people think about you goes a long way in positioning you for what life would throw at you. Let me share a little story of how I got to where I am today.
My ICT career started in 2008. I was super thrilled by the CSC 102 course we did where I got to do my basic programming assignments myself and really saw the codes working. I continued along that path after that semester and went online to look for programmers to share my new knowledge. I met an indian programmer with whom I confided in about venturing into game programming and how I could use FORTRAN to achieve that. :) My friend laughed me to scorn. He then adviced me to look into C++ programming which he said was best suited for building games. I couldn't go home after that semester because I really wanted to build a game. I started frequenting the university library during that holiday to read up c++ and the computer resource center to use a code editor which I secretly downloaded and installed there to practice. When school resumed 3 weeks later I had already understood the concept of object oriented programming with c++. The computer resource center stopped working and since I didn't have a laptop or a computer I needed a way out. This was where having a good relationship with people came in.
I started spending time my friends who had laptops more often. I played video games with them and got to use their laptops whilst they slept. I couldn't keep up with lectures because I had to stay up all night most times to try out my programs, write programs on paper and read programming books during the day. I continued this way till my brother joined me in school through direct entry and eventually got a laptop. This became a booster for me and I was able to forge ahead more comfortably. I got my first paid project in 2011 and the money came in handy.There was no going back. I eventually got my first laptop in 2011.
In 2012, I was approached by a couple of friends for a job with the state government. I couldn't believe the pay. For 8 days a month (Thursday and Fridays every week) I was getting well paid and doing what I loved doing best. I was still a student. My friends thought I was good enough to be recommended for the job.
Today I've met persons I only saw on TV or newspapers. Shook hands with governors, been interviewed a few times on TV and the sky has been the starting point since then.
What made the difference? The opinion people had of who I am did. In the end, what might matter to you might be different from what made sense to me, you would always need people to get anywhere in life. Work on yourself and value your friends.
photo credit: flickr.com
Whilst in the university, I had to answer this question: who am I to the different people in my life? To my classmates I was a school drop out who was busy programming, reading c#(pronounced see-sharp), not doing school work and not sleeping at night. To some of my friends I was a busy, unavailable fella whom when he is around is a clown. To the people I consulted for/worked with I was a geek. To the people in church I was a growing christian. Now that is just to name a few circles of people I found myself around. The opinions people had of me affected the way I interacted with them and placed me where I am today. Some persons saw and still see me as a "too busy" person and hence they just leave me alone. :) Some other persons see me as a "go-to-guy" for small scale projects and for IT consultations.
The importance of understanding what people think about you goes a long way in positioning you for what life would throw at you. Let me share a little story of how I got to where I am today.
My ICT career started in 2008. I was super thrilled by the CSC 102 course we did where I got to do my basic programming assignments myself and really saw the codes working. I continued along that path after that semester and went online to look for programmers to share my new knowledge. I met an indian programmer with whom I confided in about venturing into game programming and how I could use FORTRAN to achieve that. :) My friend laughed me to scorn. He then adviced me to look into C++ programming which he said was best suited for building games. I couldn't go home after that semester because I really wanted to build a game. I started frequenting the university library during that holiday to read up c++ and the computer resource center to use a code editor which I secretly downloaded and installed there to practice. When school resumed 3 weeks later I had already understood the concept of object oriented programming with c++. The computer resource center stopped working and since I didn't have a laptop or a computer I needed a way out. This was where having a good relationship with people came in.
I started spending time my friends who had laptops more often. I played video games with them and got to use their laptops whilst they slept. I couldn't keep up with lectures because I had to stay up all night most times to try out my programs, write programs on paper and read programming books during the day. I continued this way till my brother joined me in school through direct entry and eventually got a laptop. This became a booster for me and I was able to forge ahead more comfortably. I got my first paid project in 2011 and the money came in handy.There was no going back. I eventually got my first laptop in 2011.
In 2012, I was approached by a couple of friends for a job with the state government. I couldn't believe the pay. For 8 days a month (Thursday and Fridays every week) I was getting well paid and doing what I loved doing best. I was still a student. My friends thought I was good enough to be recommended for the job.
Today I've met persons I only saw on TV or newspapers. Shook hands with governors, been interviewed a few times on TV and the sky has been the starting point since then.
What made the difference? The opinion people had of who I am did. In the end, what might matter to you might be different from what made sense to me, you would always need people to get anywhere in life. Work on yourself and value your friends.
photo credit: flickr.com
Tuesday 13 August 2013
This Love thing sef
So much has been written and said about the concept of the word "LOVE". Entire volumes and whole series of audiovisual contents are available on this subject matter. But if it really is what they say it is, why is there so much dissatisfaction from what people call love today?
Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling.
Yet, love has an essence that resists defining in any single way — it encompasses compassion, determination, tolerance, endurance, support, faith, and much more.
I'll share some experiences in this post about what I thought love was and what I think it is now.
Let's first get a general definition for this hard word called Love.
According to Wikipedia, "love" can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from interpersonal affection ("I love my lover") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.
For the purpose of this post, love is used in the context of "an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment " to a particular individual.
Now that we have a general definition, let's proceed to my side of the story.
I had my first crush at a very young age. From what I can remember, each time I saw her, I always felt different. My heart always skipped a beat when she's nearby. This was in elementary school. As I grew up, I gradually became curious as to why I was attracted to her. I always wanted to talk to her, see her, help her out with stuff but I couldn't quite place where the attraction was coming from or what it was for. When she realized that I was showing a lot more attention to her than usual, she asked me one day, "Samuel, do u like me?". I nearly dropped dead on the spot. I looked to the floor and said "yes". That was the beginning of trouble for me. I could no longer stand her or any other girl. I became terribly shy. I started to gradually withdraw from associations that involved girls and hung out more with the guys. I played table tennis, video games etc just to stay away from them. Each time any girl called me by name I tend to cringe. And then I would respond absentmindedly just to get it over and done with.
I'll share some experiences in this post about what I thought love was and what I think it is now.
Let's first get a general definition for this hard word called Love.
According to Wikipedia, "love" can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from interpersonal affection ("I love my lover") to pleasure ("I loved that meal"). It can refer to an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment. It can also be a virtue representing human kindness, compassion, and affection—"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". And it may describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.
For the purpose of this post, love is used in the context of "an emotion of a strong attraction and personal attachment " to a particular individual.
Now that we have a general definition, let's proceed to my side of the story.
I had my first crush at a very young age. From what I can remember, each time I saw her, I always felt different. My heart always skipped a beat when she's nearby. This was in elementary school. As I grew up, I gradually became curious as to why I was attracted to her. I always wanted to talk to her, see her, help her out with stuff but I couldn't quite place where the attraction was coming from or what it was for. When she realized that I was showing a lot more attention to her than usual, she asked me one day, "Samuel, do u like me?". I nearly dropped dead on the spot. I looked to the floor and said "yes". That was the beginning of trouble for me. I could no longer stand her or any other girl. I became terribly shy. I started to gradually withdraw from associations that involved girls and hung out more with the guys. I played table tennis, video games etc just to stay away from them. Each time any girl called me by name I tend to cringe. And then I would respond absentmindedly just to get it over and done with.
I eventually got into high school and things weren't getting any better. This continued till I just about finished junior high. I wrote an essay and qualified for a 3 weeks camp in Abuja (Linking the Youths on Nigeria through eXchange LYNX 2004 ). Whilst there, I met Tamipiriye Emmanuel. That was the girl that showed me that girls don't bite (If you know her don't tell her this story o!). She was a very bright student and quite friendly too. Talking to her made it easy to talk to any other girl and gradually I loosened up. I met some other girls there in camp and knew practically ALL the guys. When I returned to Lagos 3 weeks after things had changed. I became a different person. That was when I realized that there were a lot of girls in the estate.
I suddenly picked up interest in another girl. She happened to be very shy. She always had a way of avoiding me but I was persistent.
I was trying so hard to understand what I liked about her but I couldn't figure it out. I never did till we left the estate. It was 4 years later I heard from her again.
Every single day that passed I wondered what caused the attraction. I had some other flings which I'll blog about some other day but in all I came to appreciate some very vital points:
1. Love is beyond physical/sexual attraction. That is called "lust"
2. Love is not domination or control.
3. Love doesn't solve the loneliness problem. You gotta fix that yourself
4. Love isn't selfish. It's not just about you anymore
5. Love isn't blind. Whilst you love people with their faults, it takes love to overlook the faults when they manifest.
6. Love isn't a tool for using people or binding them to your side; if you find yourself calling these actions "love," it may be a good idea to investigate what other people mean by love.
7. Love is unconditional. Now that is the most difficult to explain. You normally should love people without conditions attached. But being the mortals that we are, we love based on conditions. I love "my child". The child is yours that's why you love him/her.
Today, so many people get it wrong and as such they have their hearts shattered into many pieces and they always still love with the pieces. Our streets are filled with guys and girls with a catalog of experiences from failed relationships. They expected too much and got too little. Hollywood/NollyWood and romance stories didn't help. They made it worse. They made us feel inadequate. Almost every teenager and young adult fantasizes today about what it would be like to love and be loved in return. I cannot categorically state that I have had the best of experiences but I know for sure that to love and be loved in return is an amazing feeling. But you have to be careful. Always be with your thinking cap no matter what your emotions say. Ask yourself where your relationship is headed and what the goal is. If you don't know, my friend, please don't invest in it. When someone loves you they would be patient with you on the sex issue till the wedding bells. They wouldn't hit you. They'll respect your opinion. They'll absorb you into their family and circle of friends.
Warnings
1. Love isn't easy
2. Never seek to force love. You can try but you'll find fear, neediness and insecurity, not love. Love will come if you're willing to share love, to give of it freely and to expect nothing in return.
3. Be aware that creatively written or filmed romantic love is a thing of art in its own––mere mortals are recommended to see that romantic love has warts. The more expansively you view romantic love, the more accepting you are that romantic love isn't always ideal and the more certain you are about who you are and what matters to you in life, the more likely you'll be to find happiness in romance. Leave those rose colored glasses slightly lifted at all times!
It wasn't until this year that I gave it some serious thought after some sermons on it and realized that to confidently say you love someone is to accept the responsibility that comes with it. If you cannot deal with the responsibility of loving someone, feel free to hitch a ride back to where you were coming from.
Have a great day ahead!
Warnings
1. Love isn't easy
2. Never seek to force love. You can try but you'll find fear, neediness and insecurity, not love. Love will come if you're willing to share love, to give of it freely and to expect nothing in return.
3. Be aware that creatively written or filmed romantic love is a thing of art in its own––mere mortals are recommended to see that romantic love has warts. The more expansively you view romantic love, the more accepting you are that romantic love isn't always ideal and the more certain you are about who you are and what matters to you in life, the more likely you'll be to find happiness in romance. Leave those rose colored glasses slightly lifted at all times!
It wasn't until this year that I gave it some serious thought after some sermons on it and realized that to confidently say you love someone is to accept the responsibility that comes with it. If you cannot deal with the responsibility of loving someone, feel free to hitch a ride back to where you were coming from.
Have a great day ahead!
Some of the glitters were gold
"All that glitters is not gold", says the popular quote.
As true as this sounds, let's look at it from a different perspective.Some of the glitters are indeed gold.
Certainly, things would go wrong and then we are forced to have regrets. People would disappoint us when we least expected. I have seen the shock and disbelief on the faces of certain persons when someone they trust so much fails them or let them down in some way and I have also let people down before.
But in the midst of our regrets, we tend to forget all the good things that had happened prior to the wrong. We begin to see all the faults and the long list of errors. Things we overlooked, things we didn't think mattered. Suddenly,they all begin to matter. Your world begins to look like it is crumbling around you. Just because of one little wrong that someone did you.
It is not a special fault of yours to have regrets, but rather, it is purely human. When we are hurt by people we trust or people we are really close to, we feel
so terrible. Some have cried. Some have taken their own lives. Such shouldn't be our lot. We are not perfect. We make mistakes.
I had such an encounter recently and I almost cried. It was unbelievable. But then I looked on the bright side. It's not an easy feat but I did it. I began recounting all the good times. All the positive moments. I realized after some time that I was "laughing out loud. The pain had been lifted. It was over. "It was just a mistake", I told myself. Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. "Humans cannot be trusted!!", some have exclaimed. "All men are dogs!", the woman said in disgust. "All women are the same. You should never trust them", I recall being told a few times.
But I really don't believe in such statements. I know better now than to make broad assumptions because of that brief moment of disappointment. Look on the bright side. Life is too short to stay sad. "Focus on the glitters that were gold". Treasure the good times. Forgive and try to forget. Never, ever remind people of how they faulted you the same way before. Don't do it! If you can remember, they can too! Just smile and say "It's ok" when you can. I understand that they are exceptions when persons would wrong you without remorse. Don't spend 2 seconds of your life regretting. We don't have enough time. "Find a smile in the tears." Have a fun filled day ahead.
As true as this sounds, let's look at it from a different perspective.Some of the glitters are indeed gold.
Certainly, things would go wrong and then we are forced to have regrets. People would disappoint us when we least expected. I have seen the shock and disbelief on the faces of certain persons when someone they trust so much fails them or let them down in some way and I have also let people down before.
But in the midst of our regrets, we tend to forget all the good things that had happened prior to the wrong. We begin to see all the faults and the long list of errors. Things we overlooked, things we didn't think mattered. Suddenly,they all begin to matter. Your world begins to look like it is crumbling around you. Just because of one little wrong that someone did you.
It is not a special fault of yours to have regrets, but rather, it is purely human. When we are hurt by people we trust or people we are really close to, we feel
so terrible. Some have cried. Some have taken their own lives. Such shouldn't be our lot. We are not perfect. We make mistakes.
I had such an encounter recently and I almost cried. It was unbelievable. But then I looked on the bright side. It's not an easy feat but I did it. I began recounting all the good times. All the positive moments. I realized after some time that I was "laughing out loud. The pain had been lifted. It was over. "It was just a mistake", I told myself. Everyone deserves the benefit of a doubt. "Humans cannot be trusted!!", some have exclaimed. "All men are dogs!", the woman said in disgust. "All women are the same. You should never trust them", I recall being told a few times.
But I really don't believe in such statements. I know better now than to make broad assumptions because of that brief moment of disappointment. Look on the bright side. Life is too short to stay sad. "Focus on the glitters that were gold". Treasure the good times. Forgive and try to forget. Never, ever remind people of how they faulted you the same way before. Don't do it! If you can remember, they can too! Just smile and say "It's ok" when you can. I understand that they are exceptions when persons would wrong you without remorse. Don't spend 2 seconds of your life regretting. We don't have enough time. "Find a smile in the tears." Have a fun filled day ahead.
Sunday 11 August 2013
I think i'm lost
Hi. It's been a while I wrote something about me here. These are a few lessons I have learnt in a few months and I'm willing to share them here.
Recently, I've been noticing a steep decline in my communication with people. I used to be an extrovert. Always happy, cheerful, available to talk to anyone at anytime and always willing to lend a helping hand. Something changed. I started becoming more introspective and I seem to be doing lots of thinking these days. What happened?
Lately, I have been doing some serious reading and talking to older persons on how life has been treating them, what lessons they have learnt and I have also witnessed crisis around me of various dimensions and in different context. I started realizing that as far as life is concerned, you usually don't get what you want all the time.
I was counselled that whilst it is good to dream big and work extra hard, one has to be very careful about certain things:
1. Which goes first? Family or work?
With Internet almost always available, I started to realize I spent more time online chatting and fixing other people's problems whilst staying in touch with my family a lot less.
"Family should always come first", she said(The "she" is a tale for another day). Each time she said that, I just pick up my phone and call my mum to check on her and everyone else at home. They usually appreciate the call and it kinda freshens up the bond. I saw them very few times in a year and decided that that had to change. And so i devised a plan to visit them as often as I can and to call more frequently. I learnt that "a call is worth a thousand chat messages".
2. God are we still friends?
There seemed to be no much time left out of my busy schedule to say a few words to God in prayers as the day rushed on. I was always reading different books on my phone, visiting blogs to keep up with latest technologies, trying to be at the top of my game and to be ready when a well paying job comes along after youth service.
Then one day it dawned on me. "Why am I doing all this hustling?" "For whom? who am I trying to impress?" "Is this all my life is about? work! work! work!" "When was the last time I took a break to say a prayer to God during a busy day, aside my morning and night prayers?"
I had to hit the reset button and asked a brother to pray for me. I started to look inward and develop the man in me. I started drawing closer to God and it all became easier. My life's pace slowed down considerably and it all started making sense. We all have aspirations and ambitions, but let us learn to put God first. Let Him know your plans. Talk to Him like a friend and Father that He is. You would see the difference. At least I did .
3. Only the lazy sleep at night
That was my motto. I was a workaholic. Partly due to my experiences whilst growing up, and partly due to the extra money it was getting me, I loved work. People see me online at 3 .am and wonder if I'm having insomnia. They try to chat and I respond immediately. The first question is always "Guy, u no dey sleep ni?"
Somehow, I had developed an habit of keeping late nights and working through the night. I had a day job but I always felt compelled to do something new at night. I started falling ill every month. My immune system became weak to stress induced malaria. I was always tired and cold. But i had to work. Experience has shown me that it's not about the number of hours you put in, but it is the quality of those hours. 3 hours of consistent work is better than 12 hours of inconsistent work. I had to change that.
4. Food is for farmers
Eating junk was a habit. I rarely had time to cook good food. It wasn't the case that I didn't know how to cook, but I always felt that it was a time wasting endeavor 1 hour+ in the kitchen? you have no idea how far I would have gone in that project. But in the end, health is wealth. Good food is required to stay healthy and good health is required to remain productive.
I haven't forgotten my friends. I just need some time to straighten my life's course. I have started making amends.
In a nutshell, there's a new Sam in the block. Have you met him yet? I don't think so. If he's not at work or taking those long solitary walks, he is reading a book or he's cooking.
Recently, I've been noticing a steep decline in my communication with people. I used to be an extrovert. Always happy, cheerful, available to talk to anyone at anytime and always willing to lend a helping hand. Something changed. I started becoming more introspective and I seem to be doing lots of thinking these days. What happened?
Lately, I have been doing some serious reading and talking to older persons on how life has been treating them, what lessons they have learnt and I have also witnessed crisis around me of various dimensions and in different context. I started realizing that as far as life is concerned, you usually don't get what you want all the time.
I was counselled that whilst it is good to dream big and work extra hard, one has to be very careful about certain things:
1. Which goes first? Family or work?
With Internet almost always available, I started to realize I spent more time online chatting and fixing other people's problems whilst staying in touch with my family a lot less.
"Family should always come first", she said(The "she" is a tale for another day). Each time she said that, I just pick up my phone and call my mum to check on her and everyone else at home. They usually appreciate the call and it kinda freshens up the bond. I saw them very few times in a year and decided that that had to change. And so i devised a plan to visit them as often as I can and to call more frequently. I learnt that "a call is worth a thousand chat messages".
2. God are we still friends?
There seemed to be no much time left out of my busy schedule to say a few words to God in prayers as the day rushed on. I was always reading different books on my phone, visiting blogs to keep up with latest technologies, trying to be at the top of my game and to be ready when a well paying job comes along after youth service.
Then one day it dawned on me. "Why am I doing all this hustling?" "For whom? who am I trying to impress?" "Is this all my life is about? work! work! work!" "When was the last time I took a break to say a prayer to God during a busy day, aside my morning and night prayers?"
I had to hit the reset button and asked a brother to pray for me. I started to look inward and develop the man in me. I started drawing closer to God and it all became easier. My life's pace slowed down considerably and it all started making sense. We all have aspirations and ambitions, but let us learn to put God first. Let Him know your plans. Talk to Him like a friend and Father that He is. You would see the difference. At least I did .
3. Only the lazy sleep at night
That was my motto. I was a workaholic. Partly due to my experiences whilst growing up, and partly due to the extra money it was getting me, I loved work. People see me online at 3 .am and wonder if I'm having insomnia. They try to chat and I respond immediately. The first question is always "Guy, u no dey sleep ni?"
Somehow, I had developed an habit of keeping late nights and working through the night. I had a day job but I always felt compelled to do something new at night. I started falling ill every month. My immune system became weak to stress induced malaria. I was always tired and cold. But i had to work. Experience has shown me that it's not about the number of hours you put in, but it is the quality of those hours. 3 hours of consistent work is better than 12 hours of inconsistent work. I had to change that.
4. Food is for farmers
Eating junk was a habit. I rarely had time to cook good food. It wasn't the case that I didn't know how to cook, but I always felt that it was a time wasting endeavor 1 hour+ in the kitchen? you have no idea how far I would have gone in that project. But in the end, health is wealth. Good food is required to stay healthy and good health is required to remain productive.
I haven't forgotten my friends. I just need some time to straighten my life's course. I have started making amends.
In a nutshell, there's a new Sam in the block. Have you met him yet? I don't think so. If he's not at work or taking those long solitary walks, he is reading a book or he's cooking.
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